Tuesday, 31 March 2015

I'm going home

     For those of you who don't know me I was born and raised in a small town called Uxbridge. I grew up on a hobby farm with my parents and grandparents and of course my horses. It was awesome. Then I grew up met my wonderful husband and started a new life. I moved away from Uxbridge when I was 21 which was 17 years ago. At first it wasn't so bad. Ajax was a town really not much bigger than Uxbridge but it soon exploded with growth and now is a very heavily populated area. We used to have green space near us but now all you can see are houses and lately it has been weighing on me.
     Not too long ago my grandfather approached us and asked if we wanted to buy the farm where I grew up. He is 82 and he just wants to travel and he can't take care of the place the way it should be. Immediately I wanted to shout yes...OMG yes! but there was so much to consider. I was going to have to leave a home that had been mine for most of my adult life. I know it sounds like a no brainer but I suffer from anxiety and a change like that is very hard to swallow, almost impossible actually. I stayed awake at night thinking of the worse possible scenarios because hey that's just what I do. What if we couldn't afford it? What if Hannah hates her new school? What if I can't find a job? What if my husband ends up hating it there? And the list went on.
     Finally I sat down and just started looking through some old pictures and I saw what I needed to see. Horses. Unless you grew up with these wonderful creatures you really won't understand. Being around them gives me a sense a peace that I never knew I needed until I moved away from them. And that is what finally put doubts at bay. Yes I'm going to miss this house like crazy but home is where your heart is and mine is on that farm. So this summer we are heading to Uxbridge and I'm moving back to my family home where I grew up. I'm scared but also very happy. Its going to be a lot of work but in the end I can say that this is mine and my soul can breath in what its been craving for a long time.
     Well I guess it's back to work! We have a lot to do around here to get this house ready to sell and Easter is this weekend too. It will be our last big family get together here and I know I'm going to cry. But Thanksgiving is next and nothing compares to a beautiful fall day on the farm with friends and family!

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